TURN AWAY FROM HURT
Wow! I can’t believe that I am about to dive into this subject. Yeah I am talking about the area of Hurt. Hurt is something that each one of us experience at some point in our lives. No one has been excused from hurt or so we think. Think about the road to calvary and the way he had to take in order to reach his promise. He had to go that way, so Yes! One thing I know is that hurt will only have the power to choke the life from you when you aren’t ready to release it.
I will share a very intimate time with you that I was hurt. It’s ironic because my Pastor says, “that we’ve never really been broken hearted, but our expectations have been broken”. There was a time on my journey that I believed I was at the threshold of setting up my life the way that I had always dreamed it would be. I was at a place in my life where I believed I was in the relationship that every girl dreamed of. The guy that loved God, loved his family, his friends, and he was loved by many people. Our days together were more like friends. It was the relationship that seemed to be the blueprint of love.
Everyone around me was talking about how we were perfect for each other. Contrary to what I may have thought, it really mattered to me what people thought of me. I mean if others weren’t meant to matter on my journey, then surely God made a mistake in putting other beings in my space. There came a time when the decision was made for us to separate. It was time to release and journey on so that we could pursue our dreams as individuals. As much as I proclaimed I was hurt, reality set in and I was ready to face me!
What does it mean to face me? Being ready to face me was one of the most terrifying things that I ever thought I had to do. I came to the place of extreme honesty and acceptance. I came to a place where it took every fiber of my being just to smile at those I loved. It took every thing I had to look in the mirror. It took every ounce of strength that I didn’t have to pray. It took me going to the doctor and them prescribing anxiety pills for me to function throughout the day. Where was I? I was fighting Gods will for my life. I was rejecting His divine plan for me. I was in subtle rebellion. I was in a dangerous place. I felt that all I had invested into “the” relationship that I waited my whole life for, was the one thing that would always have the last word. Needless to say, I put all of my desires before God and said You do what I say. I should have known that an attitude of that magnitude wouldn’t work. God shall have no other God before him, not even me. (chuckles)
From this experience I learned that being hurt is a form of direction. You will find that some of the most pivotal places in your life dealt with your expectations, (whether unrealistic or realistic) that reeks of compromise.
PRAY THIS PRAYER:
. Lord I’m at the place in desperation where I deny being god of my own life. I need you to wrap me the arms of your love and lead me back to my design. God forgive me for thinking that my whole life was centered around a mirage of peace and happiness. I want your peace and joy. I have learned now that happiness is an imitation of contentment. Lord, please release me from my own story of success that is being fueled by the acceptation of onlookers. Heal every motive that has taken over the truth that you established. It is because of you that I live, move and have my being. It is because of you that I live to love. It is because of the filthy me that I may miss what you have for me. I don’t need permissive will when I can reside in your perfect will. Help me change my focus. Restore my hunger. Re-set my desires. In Jesus name. -Selah